This is personal tonight. This is just me & the thoughts rattling around in my head. I am embarrassed even to be writing this but I’m hoping by expressing my feelings it will help to alleviate some of the mounting tension within…
I miss my normal… I miss my house. I miss my bed. I miss my pillow. I miss my sheets. I miss waking up next to my husband. I miss drinking coffee in the morning. I miss eating at a table. I miss drinking cold water. I miss my usual energy level. I miss my usual drive. I miss my usual strength. I miss my usual cheerfulness.
However…
I am thankful for my life. I am thankful for the food on my plate. I am thankful for the charcoal that cooks my food. I am thankful for the plastic over my head when it rains. I am thankful for the carpet I sleep on. I am thankful for the laughter of the kids. I am thankful for their unconditional love and their endless supply of joy. I am thankful for my husband’s wisdom and faith. I am thankful for the neighbors that have banded together. I am thankful for the love and support of my friends & family back in Canada. I am thankful for the laughter of the kids. I am thankful to know this life is just temporary. I am thankful to know my Lord has already prepared a place in His Kingdom for me… one that has a very comfortable bed ☺
9 comments:
Rebecca you are one of my heroes!!!
I am thankful to have found you across this vast internet, and I know the Lord will have the biggest, fluffiest bed with the highest thread count sheets imaginable waiting for you!!
(((hugs))) from a tiny, little country town in Ohio!!
God Bless!!!
I wouldn't be embarrassed about feeling that way. It is in those moments that we sometimes feel God's presence and hear his quiet voice the most. It is the humanity in you that makes you so wonderful at what you do in Haiti. :)
I would be worried and totally amazed if you DIDN'T miss your normal given your present situation. You need to express these feelings in order to continue to do the wonderful work you are doing while still preserving your mental health. Thanks for sharing your personal concerns and your coping strategy. If more people shared then there wouldn't be the impression that we have to always be strong in order to do difficult tasks.
Hugs and prayers.
Kae
O God in Heaven, hold Rebecca tight in your everlasting arms. Whisper words of love and comfort to her heart. Honour her faith, hope and trust with more...more than she can imagine or comprehend. We love her and you love her more!
Amen
You not be embarassed to feel these things. Very normal. There is a very real possibility that you are wrestling with post-tramatic stress. Something to keep in touch with. As the first commentor wrote - you are one of my heroes!
Rebecca,
Kenbe la. Pa lage! Hang in there! God has a plan for you and your work in Haiti.
Thanks for your honesty in sharing with us.
You are expressing the prayers and complaints of many people in Grand Goave or Haiti. I talked to my parents and friends. They are so tired of the aftershocks.
You are in my prayers!
I just love your honesty, Rebecca, and how you pour your heart out!!! So glad you have this venue to do so and we can in turn pray for!! I'm sure the words of Paul ring in your mind at times: I count it all joy my brethren when I encounter trials... and the need to press on to the high calling...but in the same breath I say, thank you for being real and being human. I will pray for God to give you an abundant outpouring of His strength, joy, peace, comfort and glimpses of how He is using you in the lives of those He has put within your reach.
With the Olympics closing today, I am very proud of Canada as we won the most gold medals any country has ever won at the Winter Olympics. However, I am even more proud of you and all you are doing for Christ in Haiti because your work has an eternal value that far outweighs it all. Know that you are in our prayers often (((hugs)))!!!!
Many blessings to you Rebecca, and to your Haitian family. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Keep expressing those inward struggles. God says to cry out and He will hear and answer. He definitely doesn't mind if you vent. He hears and sees and will carry you through all of this with all His powerful might.
In prayer, Renata Johnson
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